Lifes' too short ...to bite the bullet

I am not a medication seeker, nor do I turn to the bottle or other substances to numb psychological pain; however, in the right circumstances I am a firm believer in a little judicious help to ease physical pain. It's more that OK - it's just civilized.

Having experienced child birth by cesarean section (note twice), I believe I can talk with some authority to those medical professionals and others who talk as if experiencing pain is a character flaw.

"Here bite this and it will hardly hurt at all" she says, as she rips off the wax strip. "This will only take a minute" he says, probing that sensitive tooth. "Just relax - my you're tense". Yes, you had better believe I'm tense, you're hurting me and overpowering my slim grasp on yoga breathing.

Another thing, acupuncture, sold as a benign, nay spiritual intervention has a major sting. No one told me that - how about you?

FYI, being lied to about pain just makes me more stressed and so rise up I say! Don't bite the bullet. Insist that people are gentle, thoughtful and give you a reasonable amount of pain relief.

One of my greatest finds is a dentist who believes that treatment should be a painless experience and guess what, I have been going to him regularly for fifteen years. I've not the slightest intention of looking for another dentist any time soon. Painless dentistry practitioners should be handsomely rewarded.

Life's too short ... to not love Sean Penn

I sorta, kinda decided that I would not make my blog about famous people but life's too short to stick to arbitrary rules! Writing this posting started at the wildest possible tangent you can imagine from the Oscar winner, director, and actor's actor.

It goes like this: following my own dictum that life's too short to live with a hair colour you don't like, I am at the hair salon for long appointment and being handed the July 2010 Vanity Fair with the recommendation that I read about the legendary love affair of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton (whole other blog at some other time). I did read that article (did I mention it was a long appointment involving a lot of daubing, rinsing, drying, highlighting, rinsing and drying?) but found myself way more revved up by an article on Mr. Dead Man Walking (and other memorable characters). I cannot suggest strongly enough that you get hold of this article - climb a mountain on sore knees to get to it if you have to.

When the U.S. military pin medals (more than 1) on the chest of the man who in 2002 took out a full page ad in the Washington Post condemning his country's invasion of Iraq, you have to say that in that same chest, beats the heart of a genuine enigma.

The article is based on his commitment to life-saving work in Haiti that has had him living there since the earthquake: getting together a team of dedicated professionals and a few mavericks; persuading the U.S. military to allow medical morphine in from Hugo Chavez's Venezuela; and being formally appointed head of the Petitionville displaced persons' camp in Port-au-Prince. Although filming this August, he is committed to going back until, as he says, "there is more life than death in Haiti".

In his unapologetic way he says he admires his father who was a film director, a decorated WWII veteran who was later blacklisted in the McCarthy era - in short he is saying to all political sides 'nothing to prove'. Love him. Yes!

Find out more about the NGO he has founded for the relief operation http://jphro.org/

Life's too short ... to choose only financial goals

I like the security that money brings, and I like to buy stuff, and I like to share. The proof is that not only did I spend my money traveling to Venice last year, I took a photo of this very classy store on Murano Island. So I am in no way against having financial goals but I can say with absolute certainty that the most boring and trying people in the world are people who only have financial goals and that this is not the same as saying I hate rich folks.

It is not by any means only people with conspicuous wealth that have this problem - those we imagine sitting in their mansions guarding their locked safe and art work. Some people with modest means may in fact be some of the most driven in the direction of a fixation on mullah. I have often screamed (so that only I could hear) as people talk about the price of everything but the value of nothing.

It is possible to plan your finances and set goals that take you beyond the material and self interest. There is middle ground between Gandhi and King Midas. We each need to find where that is for ourselves.

Steven Covey suggests that in planning out your life, imagine looking down on your own memorial service and think what it is that you would like people to say about you. This seems like a good starting place and for most people will stimulate thoughts that go beyond material wealth. I personally have no ambition to overhear the comment: "Oh she had houses and shoes to die for, but we had to pay all these people to be here because she had no friends, and her family are all on vacation."

The legend of King Midas and the Golden Touch was born in Turkey. Check out the story. http://www.turkeytravelplanner.com/details/History/KingMidas.html

Life's too short ...to live with a hair colour you don't like

It's off to the hairdresser for me tomorrow. I like to think about hair colour - imagining being darker or lighter or redder. It's good to have choice and I am grateful for the social engagement with my hair stylist every five weeks.

I think about going greyer, au naturelle if you will, but I'm not quite there yet and that means that I'm not distracted by what I see in the mirror. Yes, choice is good.

Life's too short ... to take credit for things you don't do

There are at least three things I cannot take credit for:

1. environmentalism - I think I've a carbon footprint the size of a small European country and life may be too short to get it into balance (trying).
2. peace and love in the world - spent way too long being angry at myself and others (getting better).
3. the 2010 Winter Olympic Games success - I was at best a 'didn't care' person who felt a bit inconvenienced and then I got caught up in the swell when the event was on but way too late to take any credit for the outcome.

So, it's clear that I can miss the boat; however there are things I didn't miss, like the resurgences of jazz and French Impressionism - I jumped on those things so early that I surely must be able to take a little credit.

Now that I've disclosed my personal status vis a vis taking credit, I need you to know that I was inspired to write on this matter not for personal reasons but because of listening to the story of a friend and her experience with a less than honourable person. My friend is someone who understands what it takes to get a job done well, she is genuinely thrilled at the success of others - for instance, she is usually the first with the email-high five. She shares the credit around and being a fearless leader she will take one on the chin for the team.

If anything critical can be said, she maybe does all of the above to a fault and I say to a fault because lurking in may places of work are people who, without a blush, will take the credit for anything without a word for the effort of others - even when their chief contribution has been to stay out of the way. Sounds bitter, but the larger lesson here is that some people forget to fill up the team fuel account and are quite content to only make withdrawals. Unfortunately, they can ultimately bankrupt the team when it simply runs out of juice.

A lesson for each party:

For the taker - life's too short for you to stay on this trip - you may not have enough time left with the group to grow and come out of the experience positively. One experience like this would be bad, but repeated time after time you might suddenly wonder why you are a little lonely. Good rule of thumb - when in doubt say thanks and share the glory. Now everyone gets to look shiny.

For the giver - life's too short too feel sorry for yourself and angry for other victims (aka holding grudges). Darn it, but we don't always get what we deserve and maybe the way to grow is to reflect on the possibility that you helped to the create your particular monster. For example, in my case I would need to consider how many times I let my jaw drop instead of speaking up? In his book

Good to Great, Jim Collins talks about leadership and how the great ones share praise and shoulder blame. It's nice to know that as a general rule the good prosper, even if in some particular cases it doesn't work out that way. Here's an inspiring clip by Collins on leadership and humility.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-KyQ90XByY

Life's too short ... to be that kinda famous

Now I'm not going to name names but you know who you are and in some ways you're such an easy target for criticism. You're cute, you've got a bit of talent and maybe you've inherited parents that see you as their ticket to the good life. You're seduced by the glitz, you love it that people tell you how wonderful you are, and most of all you've been sexualized way too early. All around you there are so many highs that it's hard to see the lows.

First here's the bad news for you: being famous isn't a career - even if for all intents and purposes you are famous for being famous.

These words are not uttered by a kill-joy. I believe that being a teen should be fun but it is also a time when you start to develop some depth so it's not just a walk in the park. It's one part fun, one part starting to understand the concept of work, and a lot of learning. Life is way to short to miss out on any of this.

There are some who get carried or propelled over this phase and they spend the time in a weirdly fake bubble. If you have landed in this spot, it's going to take work to make up the ground so that you can grow into the person you are meant to be.

The good news is that it is possible to be famous for having a career. We know who these people are: they're the people who make a difference, whose performances take your breath away or perhaps they radiate beauty and joy. They have a gift that is cultured, honed and their fame is genuinely earned. They seem to be the people who know that they are not prisoners of fame because they are willing to walk away from it.

I recently met a well-known, talented singer-songwriter who inspired this blog. She was grounded, family oriented, concerned about the world and eager to meet people outside of the famous-bubble. Interestingly, she said that the latter is what inspires her and gives her the fuel she needs for her art. For her, life would truly be too short to be the kinda famous that prevented her from being her authentic self.

For a more serious discussion about this kind of fame here is a link to a McLeans article that discusses the hypersexulization and vacuous lifestyle that is being sold to girls. This is something we need to be concerned about and we should get active.

"Inside the Dangerously Empty Lives of Teenage Girls"
www.google.ca/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4RNWE_enCA313CA313&q=mcleans%2c+teenage+girls

Life's too short ... to miss the music

Whether it's the music of the street, the birds singing, the jazz when you are savouring your cuppa joe, or your favourite tune popping up unexpectedly - listen and don't miss the moment.

Life's too short ... to work in a job you hate

I believe that every job I have ever had, I stayed there at least a year too long. Now of course the trick is to figure out when the beginning of that year is - whereas I am better at figuring out when the end of it is.

I happen to be a great employee - I work hard, go the extra mile, create, solve problems, and encourage fun in the workplace. When the ads call for 'a self-starter who can work with little supervision' - I'm their girl. But when these very assets turn into things you resent doing, and far from making you popular back at the office they become the things that people don't like about you (and believe me this can happen), it's time to head for the hills and after that to update the old resume.

Life is definitely too short not to know a few basics. I figured out kinda late on that I really only work well when there is a high percentage of innovation and creativity involved. I used to think it was a virtue to stick a job out for ever - forgetting that my skill-set is not in putting one foot in front of the other. I just cannot get motivated to do that and so I have a tendency to become an irritant to people who need to consolidate, to take a break and catch up. So guess what - I begin to hate that job. Even though I'm quite capable of managing the day to day stuff and am solidly dependable, when the atmosphere of creativity goes - so does my motivation. Some people love things to be the other way around. Isn't that a great thing!

So being a consultant is great for me. I get to be with organizations when my kind of energy and skills are just what they need.

I searched on the web to find something educational that would spice up this blog but the people who hate their jobs sound so angry that I couldn't stand it. Angry - now there's a big clue. So instead, I offer Gustavo Dudamel one of my favourite guys in the world - and nobody loves his job the way this guy does. Enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vwZAkfLKK8